just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
