I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
