Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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