After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
