p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
