In the future we'll all be gay
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Randomize
