I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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