im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
