return my video game
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
