My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
