So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
