Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She needs sedatives and a leash
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
