you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
