yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
