too bad you live with your parents still
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
