This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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