In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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