She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
