Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
