I skipped work to stalk him.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize