I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
