when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
