so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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