maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
