I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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