I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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