Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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