Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
