Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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