I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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