so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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