was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
