Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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