Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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