It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
