i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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