good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
