bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
