how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How external is "for external use only"?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
