Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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