My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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