My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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