He is an equal opportunity slut.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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