She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
