You really coming over, don't trick.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
