if only i could text you this smell
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just high enough for therapy.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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