Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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