Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
