You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
