Michael Bay diarrhea
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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