This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Houston, we have a squirter
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
