Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
apparently the secret to your success is patron
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
