Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
