3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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