At least make sure they are 18
Why
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
