8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
