He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
