You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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